It started with the smallest prayer. A whisper. "God, please." Have you prayed the same thing? A prayer without the words to describe the deep pain and need.
Through a series of sin and trauma, I'd lost my job, my home church, my friends, and nearly every family member had turned their back on me. Some of it was my fault. Some of it wasn't. I was spiritually and emotionally depleted. I told my husband, "If that's what Christians are, then I don't want to be one of them."
Some people found me offensive and "not Christian enough." Others found me "too Christian" and were repulsed by my zeal working for the Lord. How could I be both at the same time? I felt like I was never good enough or balanced enough for anyone to like me, or even for them to tolerate me.
Being ostracized didn't change my faith in God or certainty that the Bible is true, but it destroyed my personal sense of worth. Depression set in, fear of trusting others, and I felt a slimy sense of shame that I couldn't shake for years. Sometimes it still tries to creep on me.
Have you experienced loneliness in your Christian walk? How could I feel lonely while I God was with me? As his child, didn't I have everything?
The thing is, God doesn't want us to live in isolation. Look all the way back to when God created Eve. He said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” (Gen 2:18) This doesn't just apply to romantic relationships.
In the Bible, there's a lot to be said about fellowship. Can we bear one another's burdens solo? (Gal 6:2.) If we really believe Proverbs 27:17, "Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another," then we have to stop living in isolation.
What about those that don't have friends, but it's not by choice? (Does anyone else feel this way?) I started to notice a trend. Woman after woman, Christian or not, lamented, 'I have no friends!' Especially women in our 30s-50s lack social connection and don't know how to start.
I really put myself out there. I tried new churches and got involved in their ministries and activities. I bought a health club membership. Through social media and text, I reached out to family and old friends I hadn't spoken to in 20-30 years. Some were friendly. Some not so much. One gave me a piece of her mind and rejected me for being a Christian.
I joined 5, yes, 5 book clubs! I'd never been in a book club before. I read the books, but was too scared to go to the meetings. What if I didn't know anyone? What if no one spoke to me? What if I had to speak?
I went to one book club meeting, and it was fun, but it was also stressful, and it took a year before I managed to drag myself to another one.
On the way to that second book club meeting, I felt the Spirit call. A divine appointment! I was excited I was going to have an opportunity to share Jesus. But the opportunity didn't come. Instead, God used the book club meeting to spark an idea.
The book club was a once-a-month, no-host moms' night out at a local restaurant. Those that hadn't read the book were just as welcome as those who had. It was low prep and low stress. And best of all, no one had to clean their house because company was coming.
God gave me the idea to use that recipe to start a women's ministry. Once a month, we'd meet for a no host dinner at a local restaurant. Low prep. Low stress. A growing group of friends that welcomed others, whether or not they went to church every Sunday.
If you're like me, you have a million reasons to talk yourself out of coming to a women's night out. What if I don't know anyone? What if they think I'm weird? What if I'm not "Christian enough?"
But what if you don't let Satan talk you out of it? What if you read Philippians 4:13 like I do? Through God, I can do big, scary things.
God wants us to fellowship with one another. He wants us to have friends! Take the risk, and come to our next women's night out. It's not about whether you're married, single, have kids, or not. It's not about whether your kids are a certain age, or under a certain age, attend public school, private school, or homeschool. We don't draw dividing lines where God has called us to unity.
You're welcome in this loving community. We can't wait to meet you!
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